On Happiness and Holidays...

So where was I... we were talking about the stars and something about a new beginnings... It's difficult to recall since this past month has gone by in an absolute blur. So what have I been up to? Lets see...
First of all there were all kinds of deadlines that needed to be met - with the end of Semester approaching and end of the year... blah blah blah. I just kind of got caught up in everything. 
There were bills to pay - which my new Brazilian neighbours helped me figure out (since none of us speak Arabic and were all lost in translation) - and there was shopping to do, and friends to meet. 
And then suddenly, like some kind of Jack-In-The-Box surprise, Jeddah's weather became something truly spectacular and I just could not keep myself indoors which is surprising considering that it's still between 28C and 31C (82F - 88F) and this is mid-winter. 
So the past four weeks have been non-stop work and loads of basking in this:





Now do you blame me at all for not be…

On New Beginnings

I was always curious to know what's happening in the stars. Not that I believe that anyone can predict the future - absolutely not. But there were definitely cosmic events at play at some point in the past that have somehow influenced my life. At least I think so.
When I had this conversation with a friend and a bunch of colleagues a few months ago, I was met with wild, savage laughter. "There is no way that a planet, any planet moving around the galaxy, can have an impact on anyone", I was told. 
That may be true I reckoned. And then I did something even I wasn't planning to do. I pointed to the moon - which at that point was gloriously full - and asked the group to explain to me how that ball in the sky controls our tides and all kinds of activity here on earth, including accelerated agricultural (and hair) growth and well-being, as well as influencing the behaviour of many people according to long established beliefs? 
And if indeed the moon had the power to have tha…

On Tinder, Having Balls, and Generational Wars

So there I was, sitting with my coffee and scrolling through Facebook on a Friday morning when I came across this video by Simon Sinek and Tom Bilyeu on what's missing in the Millenial generation. 
And my good Lord, I have never ever come across a description of Millennials - especially in this current wave of Generational Wars - that is better articulated and elucidated. If ever! Sinek eloquently highlights the growing epidemic of failed parenting strategies coupled with the increasingly delusional world of technology – highlighting how technology feeds our delusions while simultaneously breaking down communication and relationships among people. (It’s a 16 minute video but I highly highly recommend investing the time to watch it).
Now as someone who is considered a part of both Gen X and the Millennial Generation (right on the cusp), I can understand both sides of the spectrum better than most. But I must admit, Sinek hit that ball right out of the park especially with his commen…

On "What Is Life?"

"Moonstruck" (1987) unfolds in a deliberately over-dramatized narrative. This particular scene questions the futility & mundanity that is everyday Life (entwined with the events that led to this point in the story). The display of existential exasperation is perfection. It is delivered in a way that's both absurd and spectacular - resonating somewhat ubiquitously and hilariously through the ages. It is our family's absolute favourite movie and scene 😂.

On The Science Of Fuckery...


On Love...

It's been a hell of a week and honestly, I would not make it through without friends like Jules and Blue rallying behind me - like they've always done over the better part of a decade. (What? Already? Damn time flies)
In any case... it just so happened that Blue and I were up to our old antics - discovering the mysteries of the Universe and all of Life's secrets on an epic Whatsapp chat session (as usual). We decided to do one of our opposing blog posts and wanted to run through some ideas. And as usual, the banter took on a life of it's own. We decided to give everyone a sneak peak into what goes on behind the scenes in the lives of Blue and Az... mind you, there is a whole lot of 😂 going on:
Blue: Where is your blog????
Az: Sorry. Just changed it. Looking for congruency.
Blue: I understand.
Az: I miss you. And your sarcasm. So I'm making a concerted effort at a comeback.
Blue: Well, I've got plenty left, I assure you.
Az: Thank God for that.
Blue: Plenty. I LOVE sar…

On Unpredictability...

Sometimes it's difficult to believe and remember that nothing in life is static or predictable unless we want it to be that way - and even then nothing is guaranteed. Possibilities exist beyond our wildest imaginations. Realities can change in the blink of an eye. Everything is just a decision away.
I woke up thinking of my time up in the northern parts of KSA. Prior to these years, I had never imagined that such places existed. And while I was there having this extraordinary experience, I never imagined that I would someday end up here today. Life is strange like that. We never know what awaits us.

On Adventures...

The sheer prospect of an adventure is what sets my soul on fire and truly keeps me alive and filled with purpose. Purpose is the lifeblood of our souls. It keeps us going, and motivated and gives us the drive to move forward. 
The best adventures are the ones that are unplanned or the ones we don't look forward to. It's a joy and a privilege to be free and capable in every aspect. It's something that should be appreciated endlessly, and never be taken for granted.
People who can meet and match us on the spectrum of exotic adventures are the best - and a gift from God. May we all be on the receiving end of such a partnership and the wonderment it brings.

On Wandering Too Far... (& Being Lost As Fuck)

Forgive me, while I chew on these three cashew nuts before I launch into a diatribe of this catastrophe I call Life. 
Except, I'm not quite sure where to begin, dear reader. It's just that - for the first time in the six long years that I've called the desert my home - I find myself questioning my place here. And I can't quite put my finger on where it all went wrong... 
Something's changed and upon further reflection, I think I've figured out exactly what that is. See, for the longest time - my entire life actually - I spent most of my time waiting for this thing to happen. Something. Anything. 
I spent all my days in school, staring out at the horizon, waiting. I spent all my afternoons at University, up on the roof, counting airplanes, waiting. I spent all my time in London strolling through the streets and the halls of every art gallery, waiting. Then came the past 6 years... every year, rushing through the days... waiting. Waiting for the summer, waiting for …

On Saying Goodbye...

I should enjoy Autumn since it's the season I was born in (in the Southern Hemisphere). But I find that I'm more of a Spring baby - keeping in tune with my Northern counterparts. For me, Spring smells like new beginnings & fresh days reeking with hope & promise. Autumn on the other hand always reminds me of impending doom - death knocking; calling restless souls to pass.
It's the darkness that gets me, & this strange phenomenon where you're basking in the light of long summer days one moment & engulfed in black flames the next. It creeps up on us suddenly, out of no where & always leaves me emotionally unprepared for what's to come. 
It's strange - these allegories we unintentionally make to justify the subtle ebb of existential angst. It mocks & taunts us - threatening to come in waves, yet remains teetering on the shore of consciousness. 
It was somewhat ironic then, that I woke up today steeped in the undeniable truth that time is fleeti…

On History Repeating Itself...

If people are doomed to repeat history, then let me repeat those parts that are forever emblazoned in my mind and embedded in my soul. Those parts that took my breath away and left me all at once enamored and bewildered... lost in my own synapses and paralyzed with wonder. 
Let me drown there - in the depths of the annals of time, sewn into the lining between existential realism and the ether of the universe. Let me wander for an eternity, among the cosmos, floating away on an ethereal cloud, drifting slowly with the wind, in a dreamless sleep. Never to wake again.

On Existential Crises...

I woke up this morning somewhat startled, & for a moment I couldn't remember where I was. Then, at some point during the commute to work, a very vivid, distinct memory hit me out of nowhere.
I was 9 or 10 years old & we were living in Cape Town - smack in the middle of winter. I remember because, who can forget those howling gale force winds rattling the back door's window panes, sounding eerily like a dead relative coming back to haunt us?
I woke up habitually at 5am in the mornings & got ready for school in the dark. I drank some coffee before making the trek across the sandy heaps of the empty veld plains to stand on the corner of the main road.
We stood there every morning, in the blistering wind & rain, waiting for a guy with a minibus to take us to school.
It rained every morning that year, with the cold wind slapping us every which way until it sank into our bones. I used to try to shield my 6 year old sister from the nasty wind, while we waited for what fel…

On Hoarding...

It's surprisingly easy to get sucked into watching lifestyle shows in the middle of the night. One minute you're watching Gary cut into wooden panels for his new patio & 3 hours later you hate the coffee table Shirley chose in her home makeover.
What I find intriguing is that there's always something to learn while observing these vanity projects. For one, I'm a Hoarder. I like collecting things but not just things... I love collecting memories & people too. 
In my heart I keep everything and everyone that I love. In my ears you will find music - every song my soul has ever consumed, stored neatly in chronological order, ready to be devoured at any moment. There is also a special archive: my mother's voice, her embrace, as well as the sound of laughter so gentle, it still stirs & erupts my own joy. I collect it all. 
Hoarding itself is not glamorous. It fits the same category as anorexia & bulimia - they're all about control & not letting go. 

On Late Night Ruminations...

It's after 10pm and what should be a quiet school night is marred by the sound of sirens in the distance. I should be sleeping, but given that I had a slight fever earlier and that I ate a piece of ginger the size of my thumb to numb the ache in my throat - my tummy burns. Add to that, there's a very well timed childish shriek coming from next door.
But... my ironically heavily medicated insomnia can be attributed to more than just noisy kids or the stifling hot air outside, or the sound of a thousand AC's humming a cold lullaby in the distance. 
I'm tired. I have a lot on my mind and even more to do on an ever growing list of things that need to be done. I don't seem to win. That was never in my destiny. And I'm running out of time. 
Actually, these days I find myself running all the time, willingly & unwillingly. 
Scroll through Instagram. Argentina. Imagine, right now, someone on the other side of the world is having an afternoon cup of tea / coffee, and get…