On New Beginnings

I was always curious to know what's happening in the stars. Not that I believe that anyone can predict the future - absolutely not. But there were definitely cosmic events at play at some point in the past that have somehow influenced my life. At least I think so.

When I had this conversation with a friend and a bunch of colleagues a few months ago, I was met with wild, savage laughter. "There is no way that a planet, any planet moving around the galaxy, can have an impact on anyone", I was told. 

That may be true I reckoned. And then I did something even I wasn't planning to do. I pointed to the moon - which at that point was gloriously full - and asked the group to explain to me how that ball in the sky controls our tides and all kinds of activity here on earth, including accelerated agricultural (and hair) growth and well-being, as well as influencing the behaviour of many people according to long established beliefs? 

And if indeed the moon had the power to have that kind of control over Mother Earth and her constituents, then who says the other planets in the solar system did not have a similar impact on all manner of things that we cannot even begin to perceive or comprehend?

Everyone fell silent, deep in thought. Of course no one had thought of that before - no one including myself. It just so happened that it emerged at that very moment in time in my wits and synapses, and made its way down my brain and out of my mouth.

In any case, fast forward a good ten months to early last week. I found myself steeped in a dense fog of angst. There were lots of things happening - and yet nothing was happening at the same time. It was a same-shit, different-day scenario and I hated everyone and everything as usual.... nothing new there. 

"It's the Charles gene", I told myself. We can't tolerate people or stupidity and since both are seemingly inherent and largely interchangeable in the vast majority of the population, we continually fight a losing battle and just have to endure our insanities and bordeline Aspergers syndromes and eat up life like a cake wrapped in an antisocial personality disorder frosting. AND, we have to ensure that we don't breed. 

I tried to distract myself by reading my Chinese Horoscope Prediction for 2020. Big mistake. They tell me I'm a Dog. "Honestly, I could be worse things", I thought to myself... but it didn't end there. They told me that I'm very loyal - which is true. And that I'm a constant worrier and that this ruins most things for me - which is also somewhat true. And that 2020 won't be much different from 2019.

So I spent the next two hours worrying about why I worry so much a,and trying to figure out how to stop, while contemplating why things will not be much different in 2020... and of course, entertaining the idea that all of this is bullshit and that the moon doesn't really control the tides of the ocean or our emotions and that perhaps our ancestors had too much Whiskey and not enough Netflix, and made these things up as they went along.

But then something miraculous happened last week Thursday, dear reader. Perhaps it was this post by expert Tracy McMillan... or a series of events that led to an unresolved rehashing of the past with a close friend... or, OR, the end of Mercury retrograde. Or a combination of all three!

Whatever it was, the stars aligned and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling like I was emerging from a dark cloud to rediscover life once again. I can't explain it. I mean - I'm a Psychology Major so everything Tracy said are things I already know (and it is something I want to actively discuss in another post)... but something clicked in a way that it hadn't before and my life actually made sense for once. 

I felt like in that moment, God sent Tracy to me with that specific message, coupled with a lengthy, heated, eye-opening exchange I'd had the prior evening with previously mentioned friend... coupled with - wait for it - the END OF MERCURY RETROGRADE.

What is Mercury Retrograde? Well, cosmically and astronomically, it is a period of time (roughly 3 weeks twice a year) that marks a difficulty in communication and all communication related matters - like confusion, mixed messages, problems with technology blah blah blah - among other things blah blah blah...

Again, whatever it was, it cleared up more than just the fog in my brain and for the first time in months, I felt like I could breathe again. And suddenly I feel like all things are possible and I want to do so many meaningful things that I don't know where to begin. I want to grab Life by the nuts and just Live it up, savouring each moment and shirking off everything that has been weighing so heavily on my shoulders for the longest time. It's time to live again. 

The Dog in me though is a little scared and of course - slightly worried. "How long will this last, please let this last. I don't want to go back to the fog". 

Thing is, I need to internalise that nothing is in my control. I need to accept it the way I had to accept that Wentworth Miller is not into women and will never break me out of any Prison for love or money. 

It's going to take a little time, but I'm ready for this new era.

So what are your thoughts on the Stars? And any advice on how to fully maximise my potential during this new lease on life?